Writing A Blog

Posted by Stephan on March 7, 2010 under My Personal Therapy |

There are some nice and helpful aspects about writing a blog. It can help to get things out of the system and writing can also be supportive for thinking processes. Another thing is that I don’t actually have to write. I often think about stuff I want to write down, but then in the process of writing in my own head it clears itself and I don’t actually have to write it down anymore.

Of course I wouldn’t need a blog to do that, but it helps a lot. Like when you talk to another person in your mind. Theoretically you don’t need the other person to do so, but without the actual expirience of talking to another person, it would be rather hollow. So writing in my real blog gives the writing in my head its substance.

An interesting aspect for me is that some of the stuff I end up not writing down, might be interesting or even helpful for other people, but I do not feel eloquent or maybe confident enough to write the stuff down only on that account. But I know that stuff that came out of me has been helpful for others on not so few occasions in the past. But there are some other aspects too.

A very important one for me is that it is so much more beautiful when it is in my head. All my thinking is much more beautiful in my head. Having to use only words to express my thoughts is like putting them in chains. After all words are just variables who stand for certain pieces of information. Very small amounts of information. Well there are words that theoretically express a big amount of information like quantenphysics. But used in a conversation usually only certain aspects are relevant which have to be explained, while in the mind the information exists in a much purer form and can be more easily accessed and combined. At least when there isn’t too much pain to think properly.

Another one I have been thinking about lately is that I stopped caring. Which is true and also false. In general it is more true I think. And I am not shure yet if it is a good or a bad thing. And it just came to my mind that I don’t really know what I do care about. People who are or have been close to me. Yes. And if someone asks me directly for help even if I do not know that person I do try to help if it is in my power … and it’s not too inconvinient for me. To be true there are situations where it would just be too inconvinient not to help.
It is really difficult to put my finger on it. I do know there was something that isn’t there anymore. I am really not very bright on the emotional level. Well mainly because “I am” not emotion. My parts are emotion and “they” are dissociated from me. Although a “whole I” would involve them too. But that is not the “I” that I am expiriencing.

Writing that post has just lost it’s flavour. That’s it.