Dissociation & Troja

Posted by Stephan on March 13, 2010 under My Personal Therapy |

This comparison came to my mind when I was thinking about my situation with my parts. I don’t know why Troja, but it is like a siege. Neither of us can really make a move. If there is something one of us doesn’t want the other to do there is no way that it will be done. Like if I want to go somewhere outside. They can just shut down entire parts of my body. Usually they fill my knees, my arms and my back with panic and depression. I often wonder how a dissociative identity disorder feels like. I wish I could control my dissociation more. If I could I would just create an entire new self to deal with everything. From the view of chinese medicin there is one part missing. The most important part that should govern the system. Well not missing, it’s just not doing its job. I have to do it. But since it is not my real job in the system I fail. Not entirely. But like the situation in Troja. I think the parts would listen to the missing part. He would be able to bring peace into the system. But he isn’t doing anything. I wish I could do the same. Then all there would be left of me would be the parts. And I have no idea how that would work out. I’m tired.